Day 3922

You would think it would get easier to be fat every day. Not physically, but mentally. The fact is that it doesn’t. About 8 weeks ago or so I had to stop working out because it was so hot outside at 7am with temperatures getting up to 110 or more throughout the day. Then hydrating at night and still wiped out the next day.

What I’ve done, instead, is hydrate through the day. I eat normally, whatever that may be, but drink a ton of water. In addition, I drink Diet Mt Dew. I have been addicted to Coke for 30 years I need a substitute. It’s not about willpower. I’ve gone multiple years without it. It’s about maintaining normality. In this case, it’s about keeping the one thing that I end up jonesing for and the caffeine is self-medicating for my ADHD.

Now I’ve adjusted the food. It’s not that I ate a lot of horrible foods. It’s an eating disorder. I eat well for a few days, a week, then I binge on everything I can find. I go to a convenience store shaking. I pick up peanut butter cups or something and while I’m in the car I eat a bunch of them. It’s a ‘fix’ and I’m not happy after. It’s also a compulsion. As if I don’t do it then it consumes every thought. At this moment, though, drinking Diet Dew curbs those compulsions.

Every morning, I eat the same thing on the way to the station. I shouldn’t, but I do. I get two sausage egg mcmuffins. Those are about 900 calories. During the day I don’t usually eat much. Today I brought baby potatoes and a protein bar. Then when I get home I eat, but not because I’m hungry. I eat because dinner is made. Then I eat a lot.

At this time, my goal is to push back on eating so much in the evening. As a matter of fact, I really only want to eat from like 8am to 1pm and either do intermittent fasting or OMAD where the OMAD would be a giant salad. I’ve done it before. It worked well. The idea is that I mostly eat breakfast and lunch but then nothing else. When I do I know I lose weight. I also know that I don’t snore hardly at all.

Wish me luck. This week starts eating in the morning and not in the evening. If I get hungry then I get hungry. If I get really hungry then I have potatoes. And the next day I’ll eat a little more.

Until next time. Dodadagohvi. ᏙᏓᏓᎪᎲᎢ.

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