On July 4th, 2015 I decided that would be my Independence Day against PTSD. It’s not that PTSD won’t be with me; just that I’m tired of not doing the things I want to b/c I’m depressed or anxious or generally suffering with PTSD. I’ve decided that this means I must eat better and workout. My memory is really bad. My focus is almost nonexistent. My temper is quicker (not as bad as it used to be when I first came back). My depression comes and goes but it seems like the waves of depression are bigger swells than the dips are into non-depression. I’m not suicidal, just depressed (tired all of the time, lack of interest in things, etc)… and this depression isn’t even close to as bad as my depression was in the past (pre 2009)… I’d call it more like “I need to eat ice cream by the pint”. It’s probably unfair to blame it all on PTSD. There’s a lot of the depression and those feelings including focus and memory that I am very sure (but haven’t proven) are weight and diet related. There are studies that show working out decreases depression. I’m pretty sure not weighing as much would decrease depression as well b/c I wouldn’t feel as worthless b/c every time I look in the mirror I see someone who isn’t worth much… including keeping in a shape that I’d be happy with. Don’t get me wrong my motivation for this is to be healthier and happier. I am saying that I think my depression is part PTSD, weight, and diet… not exclusively one of those three.
I’m going back to the Pull Up Program and Feel Good Full Body Workouts 6 days a week. I really enjoyed them and they were done in 30 mins or less.
I’m adding some hourly workouts too so I can get away from my desk for 5 minutes. I liked these a lot as well and will include pullups, incline planks, incline press, dips, jump and hold. Eventually, those will morph into hand stand pushups, planche pushups, etc. For now, just don’t them once an hour or every other hour will be more than enough.
I’m also adding a stationary bike to my day. I have one status call that lasts at least an hour 4 days a week. While I’m on those calls I’m going to ride the stationary bike (a regular bike on a mag trainer). All of my conference calls will eventually be done while riding this bike.
I’m also going to start taking my mountain bike out more than once a week. I usually ride with the kids on Wed afternoons and every other Fri afternoon. I’m thinking about adding a Monday eve. When I can’t go out (b/c of weather like ice) I’m going to use the elliptical on the hardest setting.
I’m also talking with my wife about my designs for a climbing wall/American Ninja Warrior gym for the backyard (b/c she won’t let me build a climbing wall in my office). It’s a good design. I can’t build it so I’m going to have to find someone who can and can do it fairly cheap.
I have struggled with food. Not because I like eating. I actually hate eating. I eat b/c it makes me feel good… until I’m done then I don’t feel as good. It’s like an addiction. I get the high then come down from the high and it feels like crap then I eat again. I’m against diets. I don’t want a temporarily uncomfortable way of doing things that gets results that won’t last. I want a comfortable way of doing things that gets results (even if slower) and do last – there’s no “done with this diet” – I want something I can do and continue to do and like to do. You would think as much as I like bacon I’d eat it all of the time, but I don’t. I actually don’t eat many foods that aren’t good for me. The biggest downfall in my daily eats is the soda (currently it’s Dr Pepper). I haven’t had a Coke since March… so I accomplished that goal.
I liked juicing because it was simple. I knew exactly what I was going to eat during the day and when. No questions, no figuring it out, no wasted time… just do it, 2 mins later it’s done and I’m back to doing other stuff. I also liked the fact that it tasted great and that helped me cut Coke.
I bought Christmas Abbotts Badass Body Diet book when it came out. I like how she writes. I also like the simplicity. I like it a lot. I got worried because the book is geared towards women then at the end there’s a section on adjusting the book for men. I’ve decided to follow this way because it’s simple, I can eat the foods I like, and it doesn’t feel restrictive in terms of “eat only rice cakes” or “pineapple only diet” or whatever. I have a list of foods that I like to eat that match what she recommends… and there are a lot of them… bacon is not on the list, but I think a couple of slices after the first 21 days will be ok here and there 🙂
I will be journaling this journey as well. I’ve managed to login to MyFitnessPal for 216 days already. When that number hits 579-580 (July 4, 2016) I’d like to be documenting a full year of workouts and big success.
This is about slow and steady. I’m going to correct the mistakes I usually make where I add a bunch of stuff and excuse certain foods b/c I’ve been doing well. I need to regain my brain and body. I’m hoping that I’ll see big improvements over the next 15-90 days to start with.