Today’s workout was almost the same as yesterdays. I probably should’ve looked ahead.
Pike — no problemo. 10 was a little rough, but I made it happen
Pull-up — 5. A little more difficult. I spread my legs wide so I wouldn’t use them to push myself up.
Incline Press — 6 each leg and one each leg at level 3 (both legs off the ground)
Power pull — very easy
Y Deltoid Fly to T Fly — I’ve done a lot of shoulder exercises in the last two days. These started to get sore by the end
Hip Throw — very easy
Body Saw — not as easy. I couldn’t hold my plank anymore. I had to go to elbows
Clock Press — very easy
Burpees — I didn’t do these. I was going to, but I don’t like burpees. I probably should do them sooner or later.
Biceps Curl (single arm) — easy. By the end, I was fatigued, but still pushed through.
Hinge — much easier than they’d been before.
The frustrating thing about all of this is that 4Apr12 I weight 273.8 and later that summer I dropped to about 268 on 31Jul12. That’s two years ago and 8 pounds less than I am now. That’s really frustrating – if I’d managed to put myself first in 12 I could’ve been 246 instead. I can’t dwell on that and push regret. I can vow that I won’t let it happen again. I’ve been working out and logging my actions for 91 days straight and I want to see progress. I want to be stronger. I want to be smaller. I want to fit in an airplane seat. I want to move like I remember moving when I was younger. And one day, I want to have a shirtless picture taken with Stephen Amell, Jason Statham, Ryan Reynolds, and Chris Evans – because how cool would that be?
I’ve been struggling with weight for what seems my whole life (that I can remember of it) – when I got married in 1996 I weighed 170 and thought I was fat then. I don’t know why. I remember crying the first time I topped 200 and then 215 and was sure the world was ending. In Iraq, at 190 I thought it was horrific – but then after medications and jumping to 250, 260, and up I just felt… defeated.
Don’t feel defeated. Everyone wants to find that “magic pill” that will fix everything. There isn’t one… that doesn’t stop us from trying. It takes dedication and work (not always hard work). The pounds come off slowly, but they come off.