It has been smoking hot the last few weeks.  The AC in the house has been keeping the house cooler.  By cooler I mean not the 90+ outside, but 77+ inside.  It’s been rough for a guy with a lot of fat, like me.  I have been watching Survivor with my wife on Amazon Prime – I could not have watched this show each week on regular TV – the commercials, waiting, etc.  I also hate some of the people and look up wikipedia to see when they go.  In any case, I’m pumped up.  I challenge myself to some things in life and all of the ones I can think of involve something cerebral.  I’ve never challenged myself to anything physical except in BCT and AIT.  My only physical challenge has been to do a pull up, one single, solitary pull up.  I want more.  I want to go out in the heat and not be so hot b/c of fat.  I want to go out and be able to do things with my kids like ride a bike up a hill without stopping or walking my bike.  I want to be able to do the things they do at cali-move, or al kavadlo, or frank medrano.  I can do it.  I want to be able to climb a rock wall.  I weigh too much to be on a rock wall.  I want to be able to look in a mirror and be happy with what I see.  I know a lot of my depression and issues with not feeling worthy play into not working out as well as get aggrivated by not being able to look in a mirror and see what I think should be seen.  My thighs are bigger around than my waist was in 1993 when I graduated from BCT.  I don’t want to hear stupid shit like “you should be happy with who you are” and moronic crap like that.  I should be – I am not because how I am now is not who I am.  I don’t give a crap what others think of how I look or how my clothes fit.  *I* care and that’s the important part.  It’s time to make the difference so I’m happy with seeing what is in the mirror.  There are so many things that are difficult to do at this weight and size.  Im not unhappy with me and I’m not unhappy at this size.  I am unhappy that I’m unable to do all of the things I want to bc I’m not in shape.

I did mostly well yesterday.  I did not have my full workout plan done until the evening.  I ate ok for almost the entire day then at the end I had Dr Pepper.  So tomorrow, I start over with eating correctly.

I wrote out a workout plan that figures out how to get in 4 workouts most days:
30 min bike ride
30 min cize
30 min pull up program
45 minutes pull up expansion which is done 5 minutes every hour from 8-5

That’s a lot of workout for the day; however, none of it impacts my day.  I ride the bike during my conference call.  I do cize and pull up program over lunch.  And every hour I need to get away from my desk and drink water so I take 5 mins and get in a mini-workout.  According to myfitnesspal the total caloric burn is 2359 – and my total intake for the day is going to be a lot less (1200-1800).  We’ll see how this goes.  I’m excited to do it, but I’m also apprehensive about it being too much.  However, I figured it up for 4 and 8 weeks.  So all I need to do is push for 4 weeks and then I’ll be used to it so then I can push to the 8 week mark.  I can do anything for 4-8 weeks.  After that, I’d cut the exercise time down.  So we’ll see how my body reacts during the next 4-8 weeks.

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